I apologize for giving you this news via email--I'd prefer writing
individual communications rather than "mass-emailing." By the
time you finish reading this I think you will understand why I needed
to do it this way.
This week I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I had a somewhat
routine mammogram Monday (I say "somewhat" because it was a scheduled
mammogram, but a few weeks before that I started experiencing drastic
changes in the shape and feel of one of my breasts).
(Before I get into details....This paragraph is only for people who
don't live in Neenah or don't know my friends...before you read on I
need to tell you about Ray and Genie Georgen. They are close
friends of ours, but in addition to that, Ray is a surgeon and Genie
was an oncology nurse before she had children. Genie is already
helping with the infrastructure of everything (has offered to
coordinate people bringing meals for my family when I'm having chemo,
etc.) Ray has so far made my diagnosis process happen very
quickly, and will be helping John and I make informed decisions
throughout the treatment phase.)
Here is what has happened to me between Monday morning and today:
-During my mammogram on Monday, the technician took extra films, which
is common for my mammograms because of the dense nature of my breast
tissue. When the tech re-entered the room to take the additional
films, I sensed that she was a bit unsettled, which was the first thing
to tip me off that something wasn't normal.
-When the radiologist came in with the films, I asked for his opinion,
and he told me that he thought the images indicated cancer. He
pointed out a number of tiny calcifications on the film.
- When I left Mercy Oakwood I took my films and drove to Neenah.
While en route I called Genie to see if Ray would be able to see me for
a few minutes to give me his opinion. I also had baseline films
from July 2003. I talked with Ray at his office and he lined up a
biopsy for the next morning (same place - Mercy Oakwood - fortunately
for me the radiologist was Katrina Rosculet, another friend).
- Tuesday morning I had the biopsy-it is a process like taking mini
core samples from tissue deep inside the breast. I thought I
would have to wait 2 days for the results.
- However on Wednesday morning, Ray called with the result, which, as I
suspected, was positive for cancer. Ray arranged for an
appointment with an oncologist for Friday morning (today).
- Today John and I met with the oncologist. Chemo will start on
Thursday the 2nd. I have a ton of tests before then to help
pinpoint the exact chemo meds I will be given. The science of
treating breast cancer is very complicated (and I am glad I am not
living in the 1960sand going through this!)
- I will have surgery after the chemo is finished.
I imagine that after reading this you are feeling pretty upset. I
wanted people to hear this news directly from me, in person, but it
would have been hard for me to continuously repeat all these details
about the diagnosis and about what has happened up until
now. I am sure that some might think that email is an
impersonal way to tell a story like this, but to me it was easier,
given how fast everything has happened.
I am doing VERY well with this. I have not reacted yet with
any of the typical "why me" attitude and I am not feeling
angry. Others have had this diagnosis in the past and others will
follow me. I know this is survivable. The only times I have
gotten teary-eyed are when I think about how my kids (and my husband)
are going to handle this, and when I tell other people and I see or
hear their reaction. So that's why it's easier for me to write
all this down for you - then you can freak out while you read it and be
calmer when you call me or see me :- )
And I expect you to call me or somehow stay in touch - I want and need
to keep contact with my friends and family members. I admit that
I am a "social butterfly," so I know I won't be happy unless I continue
to talk to people. But I also know that tough days are ahead and
that at times I won't be up for seeing anybody.
You are all great people and so you might be wondering what you can do
to help. Thoughts and prayers are the best thing right now.
At this point I don't know when we will need anything or even what we
will need. Genie will be setting up some sort of food schedule
for the days following chemo. The guys should contact John from
time to time to see how he is doing, since I know that he will take
this harder than I will (his cell is 427-6489). And I am sure we
will need help with car pool stuff. Right now I have more
questions than answers :-)
We told the kids tonight and we were really worried about how it would
go. But it was really a wonderful conversation and they are (so
far) really cool with it. It helped us a lot to have friends who
have gone through this before -- we got good ideas from them about what
to say.
One favor you can do for me: if you are a woman, get a regular
mammogram as directed your primary care physician. If you're a
guy, insist that the women in your life who are around age 40 or older
get their scheduled mammogram. And if you are doing tax-planning
right now and can't figure out what to do with all your extra money,
consider a donation to one of the local breast cancer centers (the one
I used is at Mercy Oakwood). Donated funds can be directed to
educating area women about the importance of mammograms and to cover
the costs for those who don't have the means to pay for one.
I am going to be completely open with everyone about my diagnosis
because I believe that education about this disease is one of the best
weapons we have. I don't want to keep it a secret that I have
breast cancer--that will do no one any good! I stress again to
you that I am doing really well. Almost too well-I am wondering
when the part where I break down and get mad happens. As most of
you know, I don't get extremely upset very often, and I have always
tried to have a positive attitude about EVERYTHING. I have this
diagnosis, there is nothing I can do to change it, and so I will fight
it and I will get better. It's something I will deal with and get
through with the support of everyone around me!
Thanks for your thoughts, your prayers, and your friendship :-)
This is going to be one wild ride!!
Val
P.S. It's likely that I will be sporting the Sinead O'Conner look very
soon--that may end up to be a very good look for me. Anyone have
any cool hats they want to lend me???
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